October 11, 2023

What Should I Keep In Mind During Divorce?

Divorces are hard to go through, but some things can be really helpful during this tough process like a clear mindset and a divorce attorney on your side. Here are some things to keep in mind if you’re going through this painful yet necessary journey and want to keep yourself on track.

Avoid Relationships

It might feel tempting to jump back into dating and being single again, but it’s not good for your emotional health to cope this way. Relationships during divorces can take a pretty messy turn and it’s not good to get involved with someone so quickly.

You want to get over this emotional trauma of separation first, after which you can consider relationships again.

Keep Things Simple

There is a huge preconceived notion about divorces that they’re very hard to deal with and that they’re nothing less than a summit. Well, that depends on how you perceive it. Divorces can also be pretty simple if you choose to communicate with the other party amicably.

Make sure that you’re considering talking things out with your partner about a divorce and also considering separation first and then take legal action if things don’t go the way you planned. Most of the time, people are cooperative in this regard, so it makes things easier for everyone.

Get Help, If You Need It

Feeling lonely and depressed when going through a divorce is completely normal. What’s not normal, however, is keeping it all inside and not talking it out with a professional. This can be very mentally jarring and you don’t want to keep everything bottled up inside, only for it to explode at the wrong time. Getting help from a therapist isn’t such a bad idea.

A therapist will keep your mind at ease and you can think of that person as a human diary, where you’re dumping all of your thoughts. You’ll feel so much better after letting things off your chest and this can set things into perspective for you.

Don’t Use Kids As A Punching Bag

This is the most crucial thing that you need to avoid at all costs. Your divorce can or cannot be your fault, but it’s most definitely not the children’s fault either. So, try to be compassionate during this time to your children, instead of taking out your frustration on them. This is a hard time for them as much as it is for you, so try to be mindful of your temper and control yourself around the kids.

You don’t want to be seen as a bad parent or someone who’s been neglecting the kids, just because your pain is too much to deal with. Step up and be a good role model for your kids, no matter what you’re going through. It will make the divorce look like child’s play.

Don’t Rush The Process

As much as people want the divorce proceedings to end quickly, that doesn’t mean that you need to turn a blind eye to everything. Everything must be settled first, including financial aid, alimony, and child support.

A lot of the time, people can rush the process of divorce and not keep these important things in mind, and then the consequences can haunt them later on.

Don’t Underestimate Grief

Grief is a very important emotion that you need to deal with. It’s good to keep all of your emotions in check and not block everything out, just because you want to “appear strong”. Real strength is in accepting the emotions and riding the wave because that’s how you move forward in life. If you feel like crying or taking a break, then you can do so.

You will be doing your mental health a huge favor by looking after yourself and how your emotions need to be validated.

Take Advice Wisely

Not every piece of advice you hear will be beneficial. Even though there are a lot of people around you, not all of them are looking out for your best interest, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. As far as divorces are concerned, it’s best that you only listen to your lawyer and your gut and keep other opinions out of sight and out of mind.

Your intuition is never wrong and if you feel like you’re making a legal decision that needs a second thought, then discuss it with your lawyer only because they’re much more knowledgeable and trustworthy than anyone else. If you’re looking for an uncontested divorce, you can also take advice from an uncontested divorce attorney Fairfax VA.

Don’t Wait For The Right Time

This can be the case in many divorce proceedings. A lot of the time, people will not file for divorce because of a certain thing or event, but that’s not good at all. Waiting around for the “right time” will only add to the emotional and mental turmoil you’re feeling.

You’re going to swallow the bitter pill anyway, so what difference does it make if you do it now or some days later? Try to think logically and reasonably during a divorce, because it’s in the best interest of you, your children, and other people involved.

Don’t Burden Yourself Financially

Divorces might be tough, but a financial crisis is even tougher, so pick less of the two evils and don’t exhaust your financial pool in the name of “looking after yourself” and “treating yourself”. You’re going to need money for different things in the future and it’s not a good idea to only rely on alimony either.

Try your best to save during this time and use your money meticulously. You want to keep it for a bad day when the expenses are non-negotiable and you don’t want to stare at an empty bank account and wallet when it’s time for a real emergency.

Be Financially Knowledgeable

No one is going to walk you through financial terms, so it’s good to be knowledgeable on your own. Educate yourself about taxes, investment options, and more. If you want, you can even get help from an accountant or a person who’s educated in this field, because they will guide you better in this regard.

The bottom line is that you shouldn’t be naïve when it comes to financial things, and it’s a good thing to be educated in these things because they’re only going to help you in the future.

Make Yourself A Priority

Last but not least, you shouldn’t forget about yourself either. Even though you’re going through a divorce, that doesn’t mean that you can’t take time for yourself. If there’s a friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with for the longest time, then give them a call and meet up.

If you’ve been ignoring an important doctor’s appointment, then wait no more. If you haven’t seen your parents in a while, then meet up with them and spend a few days with them. This is a form of therapy and it’s going to make you feel amazing.


Divorces are emotionally draining and above tips can help to keep your thoughts in one place so that you can show up at the proceedings being level-headed. If any of the above tips clash with the advice of your family lawyer Fairfax VA, follow the advice of your lawyer.

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